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IMAGE
By Christal Hopkins
The image of the disabled is something that is still troubling in many
ways; the world sees us as objects of pity.
Without knowing whom I am or what I am about, I hear people make the
statement, "Oh I feel so sorry for her." Now of course
they thought I couldn't
hear them, never mind the fact that I might have been standing within
earshot. No, since I was in a wheelchair or have a speech impairment
and might be
hard to understand, automatically means that I can't hear well either, or
they imagine me as being a child,\ incapable of making intelligent and
rational
decisions.
This perspective came home to me one day on my way back from school when I
decided to stop at a Subway sandwich shop. I can walk, but I do use
a wheelchair because my walking ability is limited. So when I got to
the door of the sandwich shop, I knocked on the door in order to be let
in. The young girl who came to the door seemed reluctant to let me
in. When she did open the door she asked if I wanted to come in.
When I said I did, she then had the nerve to ask me if I had any money?
The question did not sit well with me, and I left.
Realizing that I was still hungry, I went back. This time I got up
out of my wheelchair and walked in to explain to this girl, who looked to
be around eighteen years old, that all I wanted was a sandwich and that of
course I had money. What would be the point of me\ coming into the
shop unless I had the money to pay for my sandwich? I told her that
my body didn't work like hers, but my mind worked just fine.
It always amazes me when I'm out with friends or family, people think that
whomever I am with can read my mind and can tell them what I want and
don't want.
I frequently go to Phoenix Arizona to see my brother and sister, and
usually go by bus. Last year when I went and was about to return
home, my brother took me to the bus station and asked for someone to
assist me in boarding the bus. When the gentleman came to help us, he
directed his questions toward my brother, asking him where I was going and
if I needed any help while on the bus. Before my brother could
answer him, I spoke up and told him where I was going and that I didn't
need any help while on the bus. When I spoke,
his attention turned from my brother to me.
My brother, who had never noticed that people tended to talk to him
instead of me when trying to get information about me, starting asking me
questions
about how it felt when that sort of thing happened. I told him that
it's never a good feeling to be ignored, but it has happened to me so many
times that I
generally didn't pay much attention to it.
The fact is that people with disabilities can make their own choices.
We can tell you what we need. All you need to do is ask us. So
many times those who
work with or live with a person with a disability tend to want to make
decisions for us, no mater how educated we may be.
My girl friends and I thought that it was an odd question; after all we
were there to eat, not take an art class. Then it dawned of me what
was happening. I have a speech impairment that makes it hard to understand
me when I talk. So she just made the "natural assumption"
that mental retardation was at play. It didn't matter that she
didn't know me from Adam. All she knew was what she thought she saw.
She never saw the reality of a college-educated woman who has lived
independently for over twenty years. She never saw a person who has
lectured in the community on issues of disabilities and disability rights.
All she saw is what she has been taught to see when it comes to people
with disabilities.
I equate our situation to the way blacks were viewed in the forties and
fifties. White people in that time frame never thought that blacks
were capable of
achievements beyond what they were taught.
How do we change the image of people with disabilities? Real change
can only take place when both sides are willing to work together.
People who
are not disabled need to realize that not all disabilities are the same.
I have cerebral palsy, and yes it is falls in the category of
developmental
disabilities. That does not mean that mental retardation will always
accrue.
We are living in the twenty-first century; however, we are still operating
in an eighteenth century mentally when it comes to people with
disabilities.
People who are not disabled need not assume anything when they see someone
with a disability, except that they are a human being with hopes, dreams
and feelings just like everyone else.
Copyright 2007 - Christal Hopkins |
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